The Net Net of Dating

Curiosity killed the cat...or more aptly...killed the date! Spexy Lady asks alot of questions...not that she's nosey or wants to pry, but because, well, she just wants to know more about people, finds them endlessly fascinating (for the most part), and can't erase the "reporter" software from her brain.

After an unmentionable amount of time on internet dating sites, we've come to some conclusions, about what NOT to do, to say, or appear as. Case in point. Take cute fellow A-- lots of shared interests, he has no warts, can spell, and loves dogs. Everything goes along fine in the guided communication phase, or in what is called the "connections" phase. Then you hit "ask a question" or "send him an e-mail." The trick is ask only one question, and be cute and clever while you do it. (We're working on the latter.) Not a string of "Do you...blah blah blah," or "Where did you blah blah blah" or What is your favorite blah blah blah" all in the same e-mail.

Spexy Lady is learning the "Rules of Engagement" for internet dating the hard way. Messages like "There are no matches" and no response days, weeks, months (alas!) after the first e-mail are dead giveaways something has gone awry. Too many questions. Next! Delete. Delete.

Lesson learned: men have a one track mind, and that includes e-mails. One simple question should do it, not the Spanish Inquisition (as my dear sons would call it). Men, unlike women, think linearly...in a line. Dots must be connected.

Women, well, we're all over the place, multi-tasking, thinking upside down, side-ways, cross-ways. Our brain is firing in a million different directions. Works for creative types like moi, but can drive the male species absolutely mad when they're trying to get to know you and move from the bench to the playing field (not to mention 1st, 2nd, 3rd place and home).

So, periodically, Spexy Lady will be sharing her Net Net of Dating Adventures, wisdom won the hard way, and great gaffes she hopes her dear readers avoid if they try the world of online dating.

Stay tuned for some spex-tacular tales from Dating CyberWorld!

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